By Jenna Catalon

When my entire feed turned into Friendsgiving posts last weekend (yes, already!), it was super hard not to compare my humble table to the pristine, garland-ed, handwritten name-tagged flat lay Instagram posts that I saw. I could feel my brain go into hyper-speed planning mode, and I quickly felt exhausted at the prospect of gathering close with loved ones. Is there a way to have my pumpkin pie and eat it too?

I don’t think there’s any need to be ashamed of that little spike of adrenaline you feel when you think about the prospect of hosting your friends or family this year. We’ve all been there, so we asked you for your best Thanksgiving (or Friendsgiving) hosting advice that you’ve learned over the years, and here’s what you said:

“Consider having a potluck instead of doing everything yourself! My family does this with our friends every year. The host makes the turkey, and everyone else brings sides.” - Joni

“This is small, but very key if you’re living in the city sans car: I find having the groceries delivered the day before relieves a lot of stress and anxiety for me. It makes it easier for me to make sure I got everything on my list (and double check it!). Delivery also gives me some time to figure out a plan B if something was forgotten. Plus, not having to run around all day on top of cooking makes the actual cooking easier to enjoy.” - Amanda

“A couple of friends and I will start an email chain where we all get excited about/pick recipes. Then, we divide and conquer groceries and all meet up to share the cooking together. It takes the pressure off of feeling like you have to show up with a finished dish, and the cooking together part is the most fun! Also, if something goes wrong, we’re all in it together so no one feels bad.” - Liz

“I think it’s nice to have a solid “ok, party is over” cue prepared so that people don’t linger around forever. For me, the cue has often been to start cleaning up, putting dishes away, and asking close friends for help putting things away.” - Alisha

“A few years ago, I hosted 13 people for Thanksgiving in my one-bedroom apartment and had nowhere near the ‘equipment’ needed for a meal w/ that many people—things like extra chairs, dishes, serving platters, flatware, folding tables, tablecloths, etc. I ended up borrowing all of those things from different friends and family members leading up to the day, and it worked out perfectly! I had everything I needed for the holiday without spending tons of extra money, and I was able to return everything after Thanksgiving instead of having to find space to store new items. No one even noticed that the chairs didn’t match.” - Kate

“Have a rough plan for the day, but be flexible enough so that when changes occur it doesn’t upset the entire day.” - Melissa

“I love to host a Friendsgiving I call “Thanksgiving is all about the sides” where each friend brings their favorite side dish. This way, we end up with an impressive spread of delicious dishes and everyone can share why their chosen side is a Thanksgiving favorite!” - Genevieve

“Release the pressure of “perfection”. If you are the host, make one dish max (that is easily prepared in advance) and choose one or two friends to help set up and decorate! Share the responsibilities so everyone feels involved and you don’t feel burnt out by the time people arrive! Encourage people to bring a serving item for their dish. Another friend can volunteer to be on dish duty!” - Emma

“We hosted a dinner and used Alison Roman’s tip of having a spritz bar—you put out something like Aperol or Lillet, some sparkling white wine, and seltzer water. Your guests get to mix one third of each themselves. It was a big hit! It feels like a fancy drink, but is quick and easy to make. Also, it’s very light and refreshing, AKA the perfect antidote to heavy thanksgiving food.” - Becca

“Don’t cook everything! Buy stuff you don’t want to make last minute (like gravy). And delegate tasks needed to get the group to the table, such as filling water glasses or pitchers.” - Elizabeth

Do you have any Friendsgiving/Thanksgiving hosting tips? Share your superhost experiences in the comments below. 👇